You’re not weak for crying.
It's okay to cry; don't let anyone, especially the society, tell you otherwise.
I went through a phase wherein I couldn't burst out a single tear, not a drop, not a bit, nothing. I told myself that if my friends or family were to see me cry, they'd automatically burst into laughter while thinking of how pathetic I look. I can't be soft, I can't express myself; not even in private, not even alone. I grew up to be the girl that swallows what she truly feels, because I thought that there were other people who had bigger problems than me. Do they?
When I was a little kid, I wouldn't mind crying anywhere. I wasn't in need to pick a place for me to cry in, 'cause it wasn't a big deal back then. I mean, no kidding, I was just a little girl. Then, I grew up. The loud, annoying, crybaby in me was gone. Who knew heartaches and pressures hurts more than falling down a slide? Why didn't anyone told me that? Why didn't they warn me?
I wasn't little anymore, I was aware of my surroundings. I saw the fakeness behind people's laughter. I saw how they would drench themselves with positivity when behind that all, it was a human being, drowning in their own tears. I saw how they forced their tears back in their eyes, they never let it out.
I heard so many phrases like, "Why should I let it out, when their problems are bigger than mine?" "Crying makes me pathetic. Crying is pathetic." "I should hold it in and stay strong, they have it tougher than me." These 3 phrases makes me question the root of it. What's the root of all these? Is the problem yourself? or is it the society, itself?
Crying is normal, feeling down is normal, and most definitely, expressing yourself is normal. You’re not weak for showing what you truly feel; who told you that? You’re not weak for bursting out your tears. It simply shows how strong you can be. Above all these pressure and toxicity in this society, it shows how brave you can be, how brave you are for not letting those get through you, for not believing in it, for not letting them define what you should be. You’re not weak nor pathetic, never in the first place.
Behind all the fakeness that you have to wear everyday, fearing the thought of being seen as "weak", there’s a little kid in you; the little kid who was once a crybaby. The little kid who didn’t care what people would think if she cried. The little kid who wasn’t afraid of being seen, heard, and loved. Let that little kid come out of you, once again. It wasn’t your fault. Nothing’s your fault. Others may have it tougher than you, but you’re you and you also have it tough. Be there for yourself. Who held you when you feared being seen crying and afraid of how others may think of it? You. Who told you that you were so strong for holding it all together even if behind your joyful eyes, is a very tired eyes who just wants to let it all out? You. Who kept it all together? You.
See how brave you are? See how brave you still were even though you always saw yourself as pathetic and weak? See how you overcame it all?
It's okay to cry, it's okay to be who you are without having the need to fake it all. Others had their turn, now it's your turn. It's okay.
