The beginning of the end.
TITLE: THE BEGINNING OF THE END
AUTHOR: writtenbyleigh [me]
DISCLAIMER: This is a writing written in a story form, not an article. Thankyou and enjoy reading!
I was sitting boredly in class, nearly dozing off. I mean, it's English class, of course I'd be covered with boredom.
1 minute away for the bell to finally ring. I thought our professor was done chattering about an English topic that sent my brain into shutting off, merely wanting to sleep.
"Write an essay about the beginning of the end. This shall be done in pairs." He said.
"What does the "beginning of the end" mean?" I asked.
He then responded with, "That's for you to find out"
"The deadline shall be next next week." He added.
I looked at him with a confused gaze.
"Whatever, let's just get this over with."
Finally the bell rang.
I was about to get up, then suddenly a boy 3 tables away from my table asked to be my partner for the essay. I never knew him, nor was I interested in getting to know him. He was always so.. quiet. No one really knew him. Well, I can’t say he’s the type of person who everyone would ignore. He’s the total package; he’s just ignorant.
But, whatever, I have no choice. I’m the opposite of him. You could say that I was entitled as the girl whose stare would shut your systems out in a blink of an eye.
I agreed 'cause if I didn’t I’d work myself off alone; aware of the fact that I don’t even know what the topic is, nor what it meant.
2 days passed. I and him had been working together to find what the heart of our essay would be. Clearly, we both don't know what the beginning of the end means. It doesn't make sense to me, the beginning of the end? That's a thing? I only know the phrase "The end of the beginning". At this point, I knew we were going to fail our essay worth our final grades. Our professor told us it was our job to find out what that truly means.
We both stared blankly at each other, not a word came out of our mouth, not a move, nor a noise. We were so speechless about the topic, that we only stared into each other's eyes. "Wow, I never knew he had such a mesmerizing eyes" I thought. What? Am I seriously out of my mind? I barely even know him, yet his gaze got me jumping on a cloud on to another.
I told him that we could just search it up, maybe that could lead us somewhere other than automatically shutting our brains off.
We then searched what that phrase meant, but guess what? The internet's response was, "No internet, try again later" There were no signal around the town. I forgot internets are rarely used here.
"Now, how are we supposed to know what it meant?" I asked him. "I don't know. We just have to really find it out ourselves." He replied. "But, how?" I added. "We'll have to work really hard to get an answer to that." He said.
4 days had passed.
We still haven't filled the paper with a single letter. I don't even know if we would have something to submit, next week. We sat down on a bench in front of a playground. I was so deep in my thoughts thinking about this nonsense essay topic that doesn't even have a meaning to it; if it had a meaning, then i would've found out or knew in a matter of milliseconds. "Will we ever finish this essay?" I asked him. "We can, if we work harder" He replied.
But I and him were working beyond hard already, just to construct an essay for a 5 words sentence.
"Hey, how about you stop worrying about that, and let's enjoy the scenery in front of us, yeah?" He said.
I looked at him frowning, but I caught myself smiling slowly. He brushed my hair off my face, then slowly smiled. I don't know what I was feeling, I'm not familiar to the scent of air in this. We then enjoyed the scenery, finally getting those confusing thoughts out of my head. Well, his idea worked, I'm glad.
6 days had passed now.
I and him decided to take a few days of rest from that essay that's been bothering our peace of mind for days. Maybe if we take our mind off of that work that was due next week, then we'd slowly find a way to it.
Disregarding the essay, we now mostly spend our time together, laughing about the most random things, talking about everything, telling stories, and just bonding. We then slowly got to know each other; as you know this wasn't in my plan. I didn't wanna get to know him, 'cause I'm afraid; I'm afraid of crashing my hearts in bits. Knowing the fact that we just met, yet, I think I'm slowly falling. His eyes... His eyes that could send me melting in just milliseconds. His voice, it's better than any instrument being played; it's more than music. Every tone and letters that comes out of his mouth is beyond pulchritude. He's effortlessly ineffable.
I then knew that I would have to overcome and face my fear. The fear of falling in love. The fear of possibly shattering my built heart into pieces. The fear of.. love.
8 days had passed
Still, not a single letter was written, means, we haven’t started our essay. We were laying on a grass filled with various flowers.
"Why do you think flowers were created?" He asked.
I didn’t know what to say, I’m not studying photosynthesis or whatever that is.
"Um, to make our world prettier?" I replied.
He chuckled. "Could be. But if you were to ask me, I would say that flowers were created to represent the beginning of our lives." He said.
"Huh? How so?" I asked, clearly confused.
"Because there will be little seeds that will grow into worries and trials, and it would have to under go process in order for that seed to bloom. Some would be withered away, some would grow beautifully. Once that seed passed those trials, it blooms into a gorgeous flower, like these flowers around us. In other words, humans like us has no escape when trials and challenges overtakes our lives, but that doesn’t mean that it will stay as a trial like a seed permanently. We just have to learn not to give up, we have to learn to jump and step forward, because in every bad ends, there’s a beautiful beginning. That’s our price, we bloom beautifully just like these flowers." He answered.
I looked at him amazed, 'cause I know for sure that I would’ve never thought of that. He constructed his sentence so.. beautifully. Another reason to add on my list on why he’s so worth falling for.
"Maybe we should write about flowers then." I suggested. He told me it wasn’t a bad idea, 'cause if we think of it, flowers do end and starts in a new beginning.
After 9 days
we finally had the heart of our essay. The thought of us failing was slowly fading away.
The 10th day had finally come, 3 days more till our essay is due. We finally started with our thesis statement, "The flower that once withered away but bloomed once again." Then, went on with the introduction, proceeded with the body, then ended with a conclusion. We both out a sigh of relief knowing we were done. I never knew that it was easy.
Finally, the essay was done. I handed the paper to him, signaling for him to keep. I knew I wasn't a very good organizer when it comes to papers; I've lost various amounts of my homeworks in my hands. I asked him to keep it with him, 'til the day of the essay is due.
2 days after that, I haven't heard a word from him nor of him. I was worried sick, I didn't know what was going on with him. He haven't attended class ever since that project was finished. Where could he be? I don't know why I'm this worried. I have a bad feeling, I just know I should follow my instincts. He has our essay papers, it's due tomorrow, we both need to pass that too. I planned to visit him.
I walked across the field of the flowers where we got the idea of the heart of our essay. It was a shortcut to his house.
I got to his house, then slowly knocked the door. "Hello, is anybody home?" I softly said. The door seems to be unlocked. I opened slowly, not a sight of him was there. I saw a wooden door hidden beside a kitchen. "That must be his room". I knocked softly. I then opened the door of his room since no one was answering it. I stood there frozen from what I saw. I couldn't move an inch of my body, nor process what was happening.
I saw him laying on his bed, vomiting petals of flowers, gasping for air, and coughing out flowers. I didn't know what happened, I was about to leave and ask for help, but he was signaling for me to stay and come towards him. I came forward, tears flowing down from my eyes. My body was covered in fear, I didn't know what to do. I hugged him very tight 'cause that would possibly be our last interaction, our last hug.
"I can't breathe.." He said, gasping for air.
"I know, I know, I'm here. I'll always be here." I said while breaking down into tears.
I held his cheeks and caressed them.
"Y-you're the most beautiful flower I know." He mumbled.
"H-huh?.." I asked.
"You're the most beautiful flower I know." He repeated.
"So so beautiful that you're engraved inside of me" He added.
"W-what? engraved inside of you?" I said, confused.
"Keep on blooming, like you always do." "My hanahaki." Those were his last words together with his last breath.
"No no no no no.. this can't be happening.." I broke down to tears.
I cursed the heavens above, they took the only person who flipped my perspective in life. I screamed at the top of my lungs, while breaking down. I lost him in my arms. My biggest fear had once happened again.
It was getting dark, yet, I frozed here in the spot where he died, still hugging him in my arms. I looked like a mess. I look so pale and it looks like I'm about to lose my mind.
His laptop was left opened, I then regained a few strengths to find out what really happened. I laid him down on a pillow, I got up and went to his desk where his laptop is on.
I remembered he mentioned the word "hanahaki" I didn't know what he meant. My name wasn't hanahaki. Who's hanahaki?..
I looked at his laptop, he left a letter for me before all that happened.
The letter:
"Hey, my little flower. You must be so confused right now. I don’t have much time left for me to continually live. I know you’re reading this with tears in your eyes, that’s perfectly okay. Let me explain to you what happened. You caught my eye in class, you were dozing off while our English professor was teaching, and you just looked so cute I can’t help it haha. I was so so glad that the essay was announced to be constructed with pairs. I knew how intimidating you seem, but I’m not a little kid anymore for me to be afraid of anyone, I mean what can you say? you’re worth the risk. I asked you to be my partner, not to make fun of you, but to actually get to know you. You were everywhere in my mind. I just can’t get you off of it, my bad. When you agreed to be my partner in that essay, I couldn’t be any happier. I knew I was gonna fall in to you so hard that I’d hit rock bottom. We spent days trying to know what the meaning of "The beginning of the end" but who knew that would draw us closer to each other? I have no regrets in meeting and getting to know you. I slowly fell for you, but I knew you wouldn’t fall for someone like me. I can’t even get off my hook and ask you out on a simple date. I knew it was just going to be one sided but I was okay with that, I was happier than ever that I got to be with you, just for a moment of time. I have this disease called "Hanahaki" and I was always the quiet kid in our class because I didn’t wanna fall for someone and just die. Knowing that love could kill me in a matter of seconds, I took the risk with you. I knew it was gonna end up as an unrequited love, yet it was worth a try, you were worth a try.
My tears were overflowing from the letter he wrote me. Hanahaki disease? What was that? I searched on his laptop what that was.
"What is the Hanahaki disease?
Hanahaki Disease is a diseas in which the victim coughs up flower petals when they suffer from one-sided love. It ends when the beloved returns their feelings (romantic love only; strong friendship is not enough), or when the victim dies."
My heart sank as I finished reading that,
What?... Unrequited love? He never knew I loved him.. He.. never knew?
The next day came, it was the due day of our essay. I picked up our essay from the table and hurried running to class. My classmates were gazing at me, but I didn't care if I looked terrible. The class haven't started yet, I still had time to write for the end of our conclusion. I rushed to get my pen in my bag, panicking if I couldn't make it in time. I then wrote, "I finally realized what "The beginning of the end" means. Just like the flowers that blooms gracefully, they'll soon be withered away. But, Who knew that in order to find the meaning, you have to feel it? you have to experience it? Who knew that the beginning of the end will lead me to him. "Who knew that the beginning of my end was him?"
I let out a sigh as a mark a dot on the very end of the essay. "I finally found out."
Months have passed…
The petals he vomitted way back then, I paced them together and planted them in my garden. Hoping those petals would grow into him.
