Growing up, my environment wasn't really the type of places where you can express what you truly feel such as crying, laughing, mourning, pouting and more.
Emotions were kept from me, it feels like I was imprisoned for expressing what I felt.
I grew up thinking that it was a major crime offense to express what you deeply and truly feel.
Whenever I try to do so, they would shut me up, saying things like:
"What are you crying about? Silence, or I'll give you something to cry about."
"You're over reacting once again, quit it"
"What the hell are you laughing for? nothing's funny."
"Leave me alone, your smile ruins my day"
I don’t know how or why they can say such things.
"Can it be because they grew up in that very same environment as me?"
No, i shouldn’t even think of that, how can I? they’re the ones who made me feel like this.
But growing up, I craved to be understood, I craved to always be heard, though, I don’t know how to cry for help ʼcause i wasn’t taught how to, I always craved to be helped.
That taught me alot of things, I’ve learned alot of things, but one word question that won’t leave my mind is, "Why?"
I never got the understanding I’ve always want and need by the way. That’s why if I can’t be understood, I’ll understand.
In this world full of misunderstanding, I want to be the few people who’ll ease people’s heavy thoughts by simply understanding what they feel.
I’ve been so selfless these days, well maybe all my life, but it makes me happy to see people genuinely smile, because they’ve been heard.
I want to be the difference this world needs.
In this world full of uncertainty, cruelty, misunderstanding, violence, pressure, mental pressure, I'll always be willing to embrace humanity gladly, with all I am.
